Rowanto Luo


Just another blog. or log.


Time

It's been so busy lately. There're so many things to do.
I go out early in the morning, then I come back late in the evening.
And the rest of the time I have, I need to use to practice, do my university projects, etc.

I don't have much free time for myself.

It makes me ponder sometimes. Is it just me? Just my perception?
Am I really busy? Or can't I just manage my time properly?

There're so many things I want to learn. So many things I want to do.
But I can't do it. Is it because I do not want them enough?
And if I really wanted them I will be able to find time?

And do one self really need time for himself?
Am I feeling very busy because I can't relax much and do stuff like playing games?
How does one define busy?

Sometimes I am afraid that something will go wrong, everything will be affected.
But I've been fine, like tonight I have some free time. I don't feel the pressure anymore.
Am I getting more efficient? getting more used to the situation? or does it mean I am not busy anymore?

Sometimes when I look behind I don't know how I went through everything.
I am really grateful that I made it this far (even though it is not very far).
I don't know how the others see it. But for me, I am really grateful to God.
If something happened and I get some problems or challenges, it would be normal from everybody and my point of view.
But it's been alright. I am really grateful. For me it really means God has been taking care of me.

And I hope that I will be always alright in the future. But may not my will be done, but his.
And may I not be tested, but freed.